Looking back at that initial attempt at writing a game I realise that it was the first time I really felt that I had failed at something.
I always did ok at school. I did ok at sport. I was averagely ok at mostly everything. So I didn’t really try and as a result, I didn’t really fail. Or perhaps that’s only how it felt. Unfamiliar with failure I wasn’t sure what to do next, so I did the only logical thing – I did nothing. I left my project in it’s zip file, took my final mark (which still wasn’t bad) and pretty much went home.
Dejected and defeated I didn’t try to build games or write for a long time after. I thought about it often and each time pushed it aside.
I studied music and some programming after school, I wrote programs and but I didn’t touch games. I wasn’t ready to accept that I couldn’t do something.
A week ago I something finally clicked into place. I don’t need to accept that I can’t do something – I just need to keep trying when I don’t! Seemingly insurmountable problem solved!
So I’m going to do it. If you’re interested, in writing, in RPGs, in dreams. Then you’re welcome to come along for the ride!
TL:DR Turns out succeeding (particularly when challenged) is about trying despite failing and potential failure! I’m going to do it, come along for the ride!